Monday, November 29, 2010


So I got a new job. I'm kind of on the fence about it, namely because I don't know what the hell I'll be doing. I know it's for DHS Case Management and that I'm working under a lady who is the boss for the eastern half of Iowa. I guess I'm just going to be doing whatever she needs me to. Sounds more like an internship than a real job though. I keep envisioning a Devil Wears Prada scenario. All I know is that now I have to move to Cedar Falls/Waterloo, and I am not a fan of that area.

Waterloo/Cedar Falls is where I went to college as an undergrad from 2002 until 2006. I did make some nice friends there and got an education and what have you, but all in all it was still boring as hell. I'm too fucking lame to create a situation in which I can slack off, actually be social, and be a little bit of a rebel. College for me was a giant void of shit, when you look at the picture as a whole. No sex, no drugs, no rock and roll. The closest I ever came was bumming a cigarette from a transvestite after the Rocky Horror Picture show. Such a badass am I. I'm not the kind of person who was borrowing a condom from my RA, instead I'm borrowing a copy of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

It kind of bothers me that college was a lot less...eventful then I had hoped. I don't have any bad memories of the town because I didn't make any memories to begin with. My entire stint at college was a big fucking blur. I remember nightly hallway talks and the occasional theme party, but that's about it. No class stood out, no event burned into my psyche. Everything else about UNI is a festive gray blob of shit that just kind of runs together. I often wonder if my other friends from college feel the same way, and if that's why they don't see or talk to each other anymore. The real and bigger worry for the future is that I really don't anticipate making any new memories in Cedarloo.

I just realized I'm typing in a way that a British person would speak. That means I've been watching to much "Skins" today. Damn that's a good show. It's a British teen drama but it's so much better than anything you'll find on MTV. Which makes it an ever bigger travesty that MTV is going to create their own version and fuck it all up.

Anyway back to shitloo. I know I'm moving into just another void of nothingness. No memories, no friends, no fun, no change, no life. People can bitch to me about how I'm not really looking, but in order for me to do that there has to be something worth looking for. That's not to say Ames is great either. I'm already in the void, but moving to Cedarloo means I'm swimming toward the deep end. To bad God Almighty can't toss me a hot red-headed life guard.

Whenever I start a new chapter in my life I dream. Literally. Whilst I sleep my subconscious offers up interpretations of how things will be. Visions of faceless people I'll be meeting. Places I'll be going. And I always end up pleasantly surprised at how similar or not so similar (shout out to Matt) that experience was from my dream. (Before I started working at the Newton nursing home I dreamt it would be shit and my dream came ever-so true). But this time, no dreams. No visions of good or bad, no faceless co-workers going out to happy hour drinks, no nightmares of lay-offs. Nothing. Boring. L onliness.