Wednesday, June 23, 2010

It Starts

I am going to start receiving unemployment checks. I'm not happy about it but I've begun to accept it as an inevitability. The state sent me a one page green letter toady telling me how much they are going to give me. It's a fair amount for someone whose last job lasted only three weeks.

I finished my master's degree last December. I now get the letters MFCS behind my name. It is supposed to mean I am now a Master of Family and Consumer Sciences. I can never remember the letters, however. So when someone asks me what my Master's Degree is in I have to think to myself the following phrase "I am a Mother Fucking Cunnilingus Supreme...MFCS." Then I am able to remember what my degree is.

One time I accidentally whispered the words loud enough to an old lady at church who asked me what my degree was in. I think she was in disbelief as to what I said. I then replied louder, "Mother Fucking Cunt..." I then realized what I was saying and I just kind of quickly ran away. I probably could have told her something else to cover my ass because she was old and probably hard of hearing, but I'm not that quick of a thinker.

Don't worry if you haven't heard of Family and Consumer Sciences, no one has really. Basically a few feminists decided they didn't like their Home-Ech classes, so they branched out and took a bunch of stuff from other majors and combined them cooking in a Home-Ech class. Anyway the major itself was ok, but since no one knows what the major is it's hard to get possible employers to understand that I want to work with people and not bake a chocolate cake.

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